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blindandcourageous
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Name: D
Gender: Female
Interests: all artistic pursuits (fashion design, photography, oil painting, studio art, sketching, interior decor, cardmaking, backdrop painting for shows); philosophy; writing; rock music (mainly) as well as R&B; traveling; talking (over-consistently); food (I love French, Japanese, European, and American cuisine, but don't have much of a liking for Chinese food though I am Chinese); nonconformity; the winter (contrary to the summer); peace; video games (Halo 3, COD(1-5), DOA4 anyone?); etc, and etc. I have a very wide range of interests.
Expertise: Art
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/9/2007
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| So I posted a video for everyone on Make a Baby's Discussion board to see. To go along with the video, I wrote:
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Hello everyone. :D
I just wanted to post this up for you guys. I made the video about two hours ago with my cellphone and I figured I'd let you know what I've been doing besides MAB this summer.
My Art Studio
::: aka my vampiric lair (My mother accuses me of being a vampire for staying down there all the time.
http://tinypic.com/r/291eq0l/3
^Just watch!
If I talk really fast in the video, I'll apologize in advance. I normally talk much faster than I do in the video and that often makes me stutter or pause in between sentences. I also had no idea what to say, so bear with me for this one.
Enjoy!
*I've avoided looking at the video camera lens for this---I look awful today. Like I woke up...and never got ready. -__-
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I did a lot more work than you see in the video, but I didn't show my work. I had to redo the piece I'm doing now like twice...
Art is not an encouraging subject. It really isn't. But to me, it's a test of character. It tests your determination and sheer will to pursue the unknown.
Anyway, I found two funny Xanga entries that I wanted to share:
Barbie: http://ally-bay-bee.xanga.com/707152770/dear-barbie/
I HATE DISNEY STARS: http://www.mancouch.com/707239246/hate-is-a-strong-word-but-i-really-really-really-really-really-dont-like-disney-stars/
^{That one is for you, Vincent. *mwuah* I love you honey. :)}
This afternoon, I was just lying down on my bed to take a break and suddenly, I imagined Vincent there next to me, laying on his side, stroking my face and playing with my hair while I slept. My arm muscles relaxed, then tensed up at the realization that I really, really miss him.
He's still in Australia now, so I'm not able to contact him. It's times like these that I sorely wish that I could teleport to different places. I just want to be with him, and it doesn't matter where.
The entire morning while I was in the basement, I listened to the Beatles and most of the songs my iPod played drew up images of Vincent. When I was standing on the chair shading in my waist in the picture, I felt as if Vincent was there, behind me, holding my waist and watching me draw. In my head, I could see a scene where I'd tell him to go do something purposeful instead of doing nothing but distracting and watching me!
In short, having him away on vacation sucks.
I'll make a video for you (Vincent) if you can get back on the computer. <3
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| Once again, I am too tired to write a proper entry. :) Just bear with me. My writing is going to sound quite atrocious for I can barely think at this point.
Today I went with my mom to bring my older cat Koko to North Shore Animal League, and we visited the medical center there. Usually Koko would attack us and try to run loose if she saw the pet carrier we were going to lock her in, but when we were retrieving her from our front garden, my mom put her in backwards so that she wouldn't know where she was going until the very last second.
For the whole week, we thought Koko had a cold. When she meowed, it sounded as if she had a sore throat. We were terribly mistaken-Koko was calling so loud and clear that anyone who heard her would've thought we were abusing her. Seriously! And instead of "meow...." it sounded like "mau"...OR .."Moe"..OR..."maaaaa"...
The actual reason why we were bringing Koko there was because of her problem with her back legs. She couldn't even walk over three inches of a barrier between her and the hole that was the entrance of the litter box.
My mom and I later learned that Koko may have arthritis. As the vet said this with a Southern drawl in her speech, I kept thinking, "How old is Koko?" I remember the first time she walked into our house when she was still a stray kitten. It couldn't have been too long ago. Then my mom told me that Koko is almost 5 years old, approximately. I calculated her age in my mind-Koko is about 35 years old...in cat years. To me, she's still a young adult. Her daughter Michiko who is only about 7 months younger than she is, is still just a baby in my eyes.
We were prescribed medicine for Koko. Supposedly, her knee cap pops out. The condition's not extremely common but it's not unheard of either. On the day Koko couldn't walk, it was a stormy day-and the veterinarian said she may have been affected by the weather, just like elderly humans do. If the condition gets really bad for her and her knee cap doesn't pop back in-then she will be limited in her jumping. But if it gets to a point where she really needs it-Koko may have to have surgery for it.
She's doing fine now though. The knee cap pops in and out throughout her life, according to the vet. I hope it pops back in soon. (Although I have never seen her sit and lay next to me so still for so long before when she did not have the condition. At least now I can pet her without her walking away.) Of course though, I'm hoping her knee caps pop back in.
Besides a trip to Port Washinton where the North Shore Animal League was, I spent my day taking photos for my artwork. I learned that I have the most shaky hand in the world. I can't ever get a clear picture while leaning on an easel for support and using the available hand/arm to hold the camera. Really, I need a tripod. Now.
Oh and my dad is appalled at the fact that my pictures are of me in a bra and underwear. He already hated the bra and jeans idea... He really, really hates it. I can tell by his face, voice, and reactions. They all seem to scream "What the fuck? if anyone gets their hands on these photos...HIDE THEM. Why are you doing this?"
Anyhow-it's not really affecting me. I'll be going back to my life as a vampire in my lair in the basement. XD
Good night. <3
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| I walked out of my house today. You have no idea how odd it feels to walk out my house after staying inside for just a few days. After tomorrow when I have to go to church, I'll be staying home for the whole week. I don't mind the solitude-I just feel weird when I feel the sun's rays touching my face.
I met up with Mr. Potter and my fellow portfolio artists at Gino's today.
Again I must say-It felt really bizarre to be walking out of the house.
I brought in two of my pieces-the original piece and the re-done version of it which had larger figures in the mirrors and a larger aerial view of my head. Lily said the diagonals of the mirror were very design oriented. Maybe I could look into that.
Marie reinforced the fact that I needed to make the piece come together, have the figures connect and have a relationship to each other, and other things. She also said I needed to work from life. Marie's right. I hate how limited my flexibility with mirrors are. I only have one movable mirror in my house and it can't even reflect my whole body. Whatever. I'm not sure how to re-create the reflections without another mirror. The thought of bringing a mirror home is sure to make my dad cringe but it's necessary.
I love these meetings. They're really informative, insightful, and let's me know that I'm not completely off the beaten road and that I can do this.
My mom took me to Macy's after she came home from work. I couldn't resist. I honestly love shopping...it's extraordinarily addicting, but I never spend a lot of money. I'm just addicted to finding ridiculous bargains. Like my mother, I'm a queen of deals. Especially in Macy's. If I worked in Macy's, the customers at the Macy's store I worked at would never find the best deals. They're lucky I'm not there taking everything I could. :P I bought a lot of things...a few designer things here and there, shoes, dresses, etc.
My favorite thing I bought today:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3033191?Category=&Search=True&SearchType=keywordsearch&keyword=yellow+giraffe+print+coat+in+All+Categories&origin=searchresults&siteId=mH0jcSTu4.0-qEwJBvdx6czFwWvmGZUtmA
If you click the link above and click the picture, you'll see the details. From afar it doesn't look amazing but when you get close it looks great. I bought it for $49. Not bad for a trench coat.
I was still a little reluctant to buy it-I've actually been hunting for a white trench coat. If I see anyone next year with a white trench coat then I guess it's just my bad luck. I wouldn't mind being fashionable, but I hate it when what you wear becomes the same thing that everyone else is wearing. It makes me embarrassed to see other people wearing the exact same thing. I'd never want to be seen next to them.
Missing Vincent again though...I'm too tired right now to write a proper entry here-but I just wanted to say hello to him and that everything I see reminds me of him. I was talking with my mother during our shopping trip and during our dinner (instant noodles ;D) about how it was more difficult for me to get along with girls. I mentioned to her that Vincent hated girls who overreacted to things. Anything that comes to my mind reminds me of Vincent. I don't mind. I get such pleasant thoughts from thinking of him.
It's 12:33 AM. Why am I still awake? Night.
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| Vincent-as I was listening to this song I used to listen to called "I Have Loved You" by Jessica Simpson, I thought of you. And I also remembered that I promised you entries on Xanga while you were away in Australia. I'm sorry about the last two days passing without a single note from me. :)
Today I was sketching another part of my art piece, and I had my CD playing on the stereo when this song came on and almost moved me to tears.
While I was singing the lyrics to myself, I realized that all throughout-I was thinking of you and I along with those lyrics. The lyrics say that life might just take one of us away from each other and if that happened-know that your lover has loved you. Just read the lyrics. I posted them below, and I can't really explain it. But it is a really pretty song.
I thought about us in this situation. Vincent. If for some reason you will never be able to see me again, just know that I love you. Truly and deeply. There is no way either of us would make it without each other-and we both know this. But if one day I disappear, do not despair-for my love and life has always been and always will be yours.
"I Have Loved You"-Jessica Simpson
Remember that blue crystal sky
The sun reflected in your eyes
Kissed me unexpectedly
A moment I just can't forget
We filled the air with promises
Took them up so tenderly
But life never asks you what you want
It's just gonna have its way
Sometimes it doesn't give like it takes
If I never see your face
If wings take you away from me
And tomorrow never happens, baby
If the world comes tumbling down
And crumbles all around us
Fate turns cruel
You're on your knees
So desperate for one truth
Know that I have loved you
Don't think I'll write another letter
Or watch another pink sunset
Without thinking about you
I take a walk along the blue seaside
How will I sleep at night
How will I wipe the tears from your eyes
If I never see your face
If wings take you away from me
And tomorrow never happens, baby
If the world comes tumbling down
And crumbles all around us
Fate turns cruel
You're on your knees
So desperate for one truth
Know that I have loved you
Without a single hesitation
Without thought or reservation
Baby, I'll be waiting
Even if I never see your face
And wings take you away from me
And tomorrow never happens, baby
If the world comes tumbling down
And crumbles all around us
Fate turns cruel
You're on your knees
So desperate for one truth
Know that I have loved you
I have loved you
If I never see your face
If wings take you away from me
With all my heart and all my soul
The world comes tumbling down
And crumbling all around
I have loved you
If I never see your face
If wings take you away from me
I have loved you
Wearing the ring you gave me is pushing me to do things I would've been too lazy to do otherwise.
I swear I can hear your voice whispering in my ear to tell me these things. Magically, I was able to remember to write to you, clean up my house since I made a big mess of it with all the food, and I wasn't sitting around rotting away on the computer. You've always told me to take care of myself now because you are not yet able to spend 24/7 with me-so I am doing so-with your voice in my head. Without you, I think I'd be a vampire lurking in my basement.
The past few days, my mother has been calling me a vampire because I was drawing in the basement and never came upstairs/outside. She keeps telling me to go outside and enjoy the fresh air. During the first few times she said this, I was too lazy to care. I later went to the basement bathroom to retrieve the ring you gave me since I put it in the cabinet for safekeeping and put on the ring. I felt compelled afterward to go outside, exercise, eat, and to simply take care of myself instead of staying put in one place. I guess that little piece of metal has a part of you in there...it's like you're always with me even when you cannot be there. I'd be such a mess without you. <3
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